The Decision That Changed Everything

Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned child development specialist, captures it perfectly in his book Hold on to Your Kids:

"We struggle to live up to our image of what parenting ought to be like. Not achieving the results we want, we plead with our children, we cajole, bribe, reward, or punish."

Despite having more parenting advice than ever before, we're drowning in stress. As dads, we feel obligated to provide and protect our families - often at the cost of our mental health.

We're stuck in a constant race between work duties and home life, and something crucial gets lost in the process: our relationship with our partners.

When couples have children, they transform from partners into parents.

What was once "boyfriend and girlfriend" or "husband and wife" becomes "mom and dad." This shift fundamentally changes the relationship dynamics.

Research confirms that modern pressures - work demands, financial stress, and lack of support systems - significantly strain marriages with young children. Without intentional effort to maintain connection, many couples drift apart.

My wife and I were no different.

We're drifting apart.

That's what prompted our experiment.

While we dreamed of a week in an adults-only resort 🤩, we started much smaller: one week off while the kids were in school.

From 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM each day, we had time for ourselves as individuals and as a couple. We had a spa day, relaxed at home, had lunch at a nice restaurant, and celebrated my birthday by the beach.

This week revealed three crucial insights:

Then life presented an opportunity.

My wife's company offered voluntary redundancy packages. She took it. Within weeks, she was glowing - going to the gym, painting, enjoying her days.

Getting home from work, and feeling exhausted, I started getting "jealous!"

"Hey, I also want time for myself." 😇

Seeing her transformation, I followed suit. What started as a two-month sabbatical evolved into both of us taking an extended break. We've been without traditional work for over 10 months now.

Yes, we're investing our savings. But the returns have been extraordinary.

We've been experiencing significantly reduced stress levels, which lead to:

And more options about what we want for our future, and how to get there. 💪

I'm not suggesting you quit your job.

What I'm saying is, if you and your wife are struggling, you could try taking a couple of days off while the kids are at school.

Take time for yourselves individually, and together as a couple. Don't try to cramp everything into those days - it will create the opposite outcome.

Relax a bit.

Be curious about what happens.